Is This Happiness?
by rileypotter17
Summary: Multi-chapter sequel to 'Talking In Your Sleep'. After Hermione spends a night with Sirius Black upon learning that her husband may not fully be over Tonks, she has to pick up the pieces and pay for her mistake, even though Remus Lupin isn't fully being honest with her. Hermione/Sirius, Hermione/Remus.
1. Mummy

**A/N: Hello. Yes, I am well aware that I need another story on my ever growing list like I need a hole in the head, but some asked for a sequel to 'Talking in Your Sleep' and I am happy to provide. If you have not read that one, you might want to head in that direction first, but if you are game to jump in here, you should pick it up just fine. This will be a multi-chapter fic unlike the one-shot it is a sequel to. Love you all. **

**~o0o~**

"**I love you but, you drive me so far" –**_**Lana Del Rey/ Is this happiness**_

**~o0o~**

" 'Mione, can I call you mummy?" Teddy asked, some of his fried egg hanging out of the corner of his mouth. The seven year old jabbed his fork back at the greasy egg before looking up at Hermione who was sitting next to him at the table. That morning he had come from his room with his hair the same chestnut color as hers and possibly even more curly than hers on a bad hair day. She had found it endearing, but it had caused Remus to sigh and hide behind the _Prophet_.

"Well, of course, Teddy, if you want to. Why do you ask?" Hermione took a small sip of her tea, curiously looking across the small table at her husband who seemed to be entirely ignoring the conversation.

"Harry said I have two mummys. My mummy that died and you. He said you helped take care of me since I was little. And you married my dad. So there isn't any reason why I shouldn't call you mummy," Teddy smiled and Hermione leaned over to give him a kiss on his frizzy head. Remus noisily folded the newspaper down and looked at both of them over his reading glasses.

"It really isn't your Uncle Harry's decision what you should call Hermione," his tone was clipped.

"But I want to Dad, which makes it my decision" Teddy said, finishing his breakfast and getting up to put his plate in the sink before going back to his room to get ready. It was Hermione's idea to enroll him in a small wizarding primary school, which were starting to pop up everywhere as a primer before students went off to Hogwarts or other institutions. It was where Teddy spent his mornings and early afternoons lately while she was at work. It gave Remus more time than ever to himself except for on the rarer and rarer occasions that he was asked to complete a werewolf liaison assignment for Kingsley Shaklebolt.

"Don't encourage him," was all Remus said as he drained his coffee mug and got up from the table. The dark circles under his eyes were the evidence of many sleepless nights lately.

"Why shouldn't he call me his mum? I've wanted that. I helped raise him…" Hermione normally wouldn't have argued the point, but she loved Teddy dearly and felt it was an honor that he had come to this decision on his own terms.

"Because Dora was his mum. He's _her_ child."

"And _yours_. And I'm married to _you_," Hermione finished, looking down at her half empty tea. Every morning Remus made tea for her without her watching and every morning she wondered if he was putting contraceptive potion in it as Sirius had claimed. She swore she couldn't taste it if he did, but she also knew Remus was adept as masking tastes in liquids as he usually took his foul tasting Wolfsbane in his coffee.

It had been a week since she had slept with Sirius and things between her and Remus had deteriorated quickly within that time. As far as she knew, he didn't suspect any infidelity; the distance between them had instead come from a serious bout of depression he had sunk into over his late wife. He had fallen into these troughs every once in a while since the end of the war, but hadn't since their wedding day. The night she had climbed into bed with him and heard him cry out for Nymphadora had been the start of a cycle of moody mornings and sarcasm at every turn from him.

"It's not negotiable, Hermione. I need to walk Teddy to school. Have a nice day at work," Remus grumbled as a goodbye to her, ran his hand through his messy hair, and was soon ushering his son out the door. Hermione almost felt like crying and running herself a hot bath and not ever getting out of it, but she knew she had to make her way to the Ministry where she also knew she would see the other half of her problem in the form of a very attractive man.

Sirius Black was waiting for her by the lifts in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic with a half-smile curling up the right side of his face, "Good morning beautiful."

"You have waited for me every morning of every workday for the last week under some false expectation that I am your girlfriend when I certainly _am not_," Hermione snapped at him, not looking at him as she stepped onto the lift and he followed, jamming his knuckle to the button for floor of their offices. With a great lurch, they were speeding backwards, "You said you didn't expect anything else from me…"

"And I don't. Is it a crime to wait for my co-worker and take a lift together?" Sirius wondered, his voice completely innocent as he looked down at her with widened puppy-dog eyes.

"Things are royally fucked up at home, alright?" Hermione snapped at him, crossing her arms as the cage came to a shuddering halt and they both stepped out of it. Sirius was left gaping, trying to think of some reply, but Hermione was instantly approached by her desk mate with a stack of papers and he left her to her work day.

Throughout the course of the day, Hermione watched Sirius more than she should have. She watched him when he took his lunch with Arthur Weasley, knowing full well that he had led the Weasley patriarch on a path near her desk on the way out on purpose. She had watched him flirtatiously beg for some documents to be pushed through 'just a tad bit quicker, love' with the elderly receptionist at the front of the office. She had watched him watch her, leaning against his desk, legs crossed at the ankles in tight dark jeans, as if he was waiting for her to run over to him and spill out all of her secrets.

Even though Hermione hadn't accomplished much that day in favor of watching the man she cheated on her husband with, a fact that when thought about made her heart palpitate with guilty anxiety, she was surprised when Sirius left the office that night without saying anything more to her. He hadn't asked for a repeat performance of her infidelity since that cup of tea turned frantic shag on the couch a week prior, but yet he waited every morning for her and by the evening acted as any normal acquaintance of hers would. She didn't feel like analyzing it too much lest her head explode and packed up her bag to head home.

"Teddy's starving," Remus greeted his wife nonchalantly when she came through the floo. He was reading a book on the couch in their living room and didn't look up at her.

"It's quarter past six, Remus…" Hermione was about to lay into him on why he couldn't be arsed to fix Teddy something with what they had in their overflowing kitchen, but decided an argument wasn't worth it at the moment. She called to Teddy as she set her things down and asked him what he wanted for dinner. Teddy didn't seem nearly as bothered about the time as his father was and eagerly sat down at the kitchen table as Hermione began putting together some macaroni and cheese for him and some sandwiches for her and Remus.

"How was your day at school?" Hermione asked Teddy, not unlike she did most nights that he was there and not sleeping over with friends or relatives.

"It was fine, mum," he said casually and it caused Hermione to look over her shoulder at him and give him a big grin.

"Enough of that Teddy, what did I talk to you about on the way home?" Remus came into the kitchen and arched an eyebrow at his son.

"I'm calling her mum. It doesn't mean I don't love my first mum any less or miss her or wish she was here" Teddy replied. In that moment, Hermione was proud of him; he was intelligent like his father and intuitive like Nymphadora. He knew what the cause of all the tension was and was sticking up for himself.

"It's disrespectful to your _real_ mum," Remus told Teddy, flicking his eyes at Hermione and seeing the sadness etched all over her face at his comment, "I'm actually not hungry. I'm going to bed".

Hermione placed his sandwich in the ice box in case he wanted it later and tried her best to be cheerful as she ate her dinner alone with Teddy. She was only half listening to the vibrant boy before her; her mind was spinning that Sirius had been right-she would always live in Tonk's shadow, it just hadn't been much of an issue until this very morning.

"I'm going to go to bed as well," Teddy finally told Hermione after an hour of reading together. She was back into the habit of making him read more complicated books that he should at his age, just to keep him well practiced. She knew it was a bit extreme, but regardless of what her husband wanted his son to call her, she was still a parent to Teddy.

"Sleep well," Hermione smiled at him and in a surprising gesture, he hugged her back and said "Goodnight mum".

She was thankful that at least someone was on her side today, but promised that she would get to the bottom of what Remus was upset about. Since her one night affair with Sirius, she had convinced herself that it would never happen again and that she was committed to bettering their marriage and maybe one day even confessing her mistake in hopes of forgiveness. With a heavy sigh, she pulled herself to her bedroom and found Remus already asleep or pretending he was. She tried to make as little noise as possible as she undressed and slipped under the covers next to him. Now that she was lying beside him, she knew he was still awake by the shallowness of his breathing and against her better judgment, leaned closer to kiss him softly on his scruffy chin.

"Hermione, please…" he pulled away, annoyed.

"Is this all because of Teddy calling me 'mum'? Is it because of her?" Hermione asked, her voice small in the dark room. Remus rolled onto his back, exhaling loudly.

"I'm just not comfortable with it," he admitted, "So, yes, it is because of her".

The bitterness in his voice was evident as it cut through the air between them.

"I know, I heard you crying out for her in your sleep the other night". It slipped out of Hermione's mouth before she could think of how he would react to her knowing that information and she felt him stiffen next to her before he sat up in the bed, propping himself on his side with his elbow.

"Yes. I have nightmares about her dying in my arms. But I have every right to. Not like you…" Remus was as angry as she had ever seen him and even in the darkness, in their marriage bed, he was intimidating.

"Not like me?" Her voice trailed off in confusion.

"Calling out for Sirius in your sleep. You certainly have _no right_ to do that," he told her and she certainly hoped that culpability wasn't all over her face, "It's a damn good thing I trust him because the way you have been acting, I'm really not sure if I trust you Hermione."

"Just because I said his name in some dream I had that I don't even remember…" Hermione started, getting red in the face because she had no idea she talked in her sleep until this very moment, "Does not mean I want to cheat on you!"

Hermione couldn't believe him or herself; he was most definitely wrong to put his trust in Sirius and she certainly had cheated, but she really wanted to question him about his intentions for a future child with her because she had stopped trusting him the moment Sirius had told her about his schemes to keep her from getting pregnant. Despite her heart begging her to ask, she kept quiet on that point, choosing instead to question him on why he didn't feel he trusted her.

"You work late almost every night, I haven't felt very close to you at all…certainly after I heard you crying out my best mate's name, and you aren't on my side with Teddy!" Remus shared his grievances, his voice betraying his sadness with the situation.

She chose to ignore everything but Teddy, "Why the bloody hell should I not want him to call me 'mum'? Have you forgotten that I cleaned and changed him when he shit his diapers when you were too busy taking twelve hour naps and ruminating in your sadness? I deserve the title."

"The woman I loved died, Hermione. What was I supposed to do?"

"Mourn and then move on. You still aren't over it!" Hermione raised her voice to match the deepening of his. She knew it wasn't right to say, but neither of them were ready to stop. Remus had climbed out of the bed and was standing on the other side of it.

"I will never be able to forget her. How can you be so insensitive?"

She knew she had deeply wounded him with that remark, but also knew part of it was fueled by the bug Sirius had planted in her ear that everyone saw his pining for Tonks but her, "I'm sorry Remus, I shouldn't have, that was wrong".

"If it's what you feel, then why be sorry?" Remus had quickly masked his sadness with a wall of sarcasm as he pulled on some flannel pyjama bottoms, "I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight".

"Remus, no…" Hermione began to cry, things were falling apart so rapidly that she couldn't even process it and she rushed around the side of the bed towards him, wanting to touch him or hug him or somehow prove to him that she was sorry, but he wouldn't let her get near him to do so. He grabbed his pillow from his side of the bed and walked out of the bedroom.

It took her a few moments to calm herself and finally resign to the fact that she would be sleeping alone in their bed for the first time in a year. Crawling back under the sheets, she settled onto his side of the bed, warm and indented from his body, and tried to think of how to make it right.

**A/N: I would love love love a review! Thanks everyone!**


	2. Proof

**A/N: Thank you to my kind reviewers DapperCrapper, Benkins, shamjam11, and twztdwildcat and to the rest of you for reading, following, and favoriting. It really means a lot to me! I'm always open for conversations through PM or if you have a story you want me to read, let me know! Xo**

**~o0o~**

"**You're a hard man to love and I'm**

**A hard woman to keep track of" –**_**Lana Del Rey/Is This Happiness?**_

**~o0o~**

Waking up alone was something Hermione had not done in over a year and the coldness of the rest of the bed was as jarring as the memories hounding her from the night before. The house seemed too quiet and her mind immediately jumped to the fact that Remus might have left in the middle of the night. Her next thought was the time and she reached for her wand on the bedside table and cast a quick _Tempus_, which told her it was well past the time Teddy normally woke up to prepare for school.

Her feet hit the cold wooden floor as she slipped out of bed and grabbed a robe to slip around her. Too afraid to check the couch for her husband first, she headed to Teddy's room and gently pushed open the door. He was still fast asleep.

"Darling, it's time to wake up. I'm afraid we might be running a little late this morning," Hermione gently rubbed Teddy's arm to wake him as she sat on the edge of his bed. His eyes started to open, but they were sleepy, and she ruffled his hair, which was in its normal state of bright blue.

"Sorry, mum," he smiled up at her.

"Not your fault at all," she assured him, trying to keep her anger in check at Remus. He hadn't bothered to fix their son dinner or wake him up…_but he was his son, not hers_, she bitterly reminded herself.

As Teddy started on his morning routine, Hermione headed to the kitchen to get breakfast going. She decided to use some magic to speed it along and as they eggs cracked themselves into a frying pan, she ventured into the living room. She let out a sigh of relief she didn't know she was holding in when she saw the tall, lanky form of her husband twisted awkwardly in blankets on the couch, clearly uncomfortable on the space hardly big enough for him. His back was towards her, but she turned on the lamp and put a hand to his shoulder.

"What time is it?" Remus' voice was thick with sleep but he didn't roll over and face her.

"Almost seven-thirty. I'm making breakfast but Teddy needs to be on his way soon…"

"Can you take him to school?" The edge in his voice was already beginning to come out and Hermione fought back the urge to remind him that she had a real job to get to.

"Alright, but will you still be able to pick him up?" She tightened the robe around her in the drafty living room, annoyed that he wouldn't get up or even move to look her in the eye.

"Fine. I was actually thinking of taking him to Andromeda's after school. I was also thinking about spending the night there."

Hermione's heart fell. Some part of her had hoped she would wake up this morning to find him cuddling in bed next to her, kissing her forehead, and apologizing, and she would do the same.

"I wish you wouldn't. I can come home early if you want. Teddy can stay with his grandmother, but we should talk," Hermione put it out there and the offer was left hanging in the cold air between them.

"I'm not sure Hermione," he finally said, pulling the blankets up over his shoulders and she resigned to the fact that he would probably stay there most of the day. It was shades of the days after the war and she knew better than to push him more.

"If you change your mind, owl me," she finished before attending to breakfast, quickly feeding Teddy, changing into her work clothes, and setting out to walk him to his primary school.

"Are you and Dad fighting?" Teddy asked Hermione. She liked how he wasn't embarrassed to hold her hand as they walked the few blocks together even though he was old enough not to have to, "Is it because of me? I don't want to stop calling you Mum, but if its making you both upset…"

"Teddy, your Dad and I just had a little disagreement. He misses your first Mum a lot sometimes and he gets sad about it," Hermione didn't want to sugarcoat any of it for Teddy; he was too smart of a boy, "Now have a good day. Daddy will pick you up and take you to Grandma's, alright?"

He gave her a quick hug before running to meet some of his friends at the front of school. Hermione was given some strange looks by the other mothers there who recognized who she was and probably were judging her that they never saw her. She tried to push those thoughts and the thought that this fighting couldn't go on long if they didn't want Teddy to suffer from it and found a quiet spot to apparate closer to the Ministry entrance.

**~o0o~**

Sirius decided not to wait for Hermione that morning by the floos. The past week had been hell for him, although it wasn't manifesting itself physically on his face in the same way he noticed it was to Hermione. Every moment after he had slept with Hermione he fell deeper in love with her and simultaneously hated himself more for it. He had betrayed his best friend. Even though he had wanted Hermione for years and those feelings grew into love, he had kept away for the sole fact that he knew in his heart that Remus was better for her. But after Remus and he had talked, the last thread keeping Sirius from Hermione was cut, but it still didn't make him feel any better about the adultery.

He respected that she was keeping well away from him at work and he knew he should do the same. He hoped that he could just leave it as a one-time thing that he would certainly feel remorse over but never really regret. But he also knew that he could only do that if he kept sufficient distance from Hermione, which wasn't likely to happen if he had his way.

Sitting at his desk and tapping his pen against the wood (_Pens are magic if I've ever seen it! Why quills? Only pens in this office!_ Arthur had said), he watched Hermione walk in, a few minutes late, and looking disheveled but still beautiful. And to his utter surprise, she stopped at his desk.

"Is everything alright?" He was concerned. The circles under her eyes were dark and she looked pale. Her hands shook as she set her bag on the edge of his cluttered desk.

"Everything is so far from alright that it's actually quite funny." She tried to force a small laugh but it couldn't convince him.

"Do you have lunch plans? We should talk," he offered and she avoided his eyes as she considered it. She finally nodded.

"I'll see you then," she said quietly before heading over to her desk and burying herself into her work. Sirius tried to do the same to distract himself from worrying over her.

It was around noon when she sidled up to his desk with her sad brown bag lunch in her hand, her curls wiry from stress.

"No, no, no, love, put that away. You wanted lunch so we shall have a proper lunch," Sirius told her, trying to coax a smile out of her and managed to get the left side of her lips to upturn, which was enough for him as he slipped out of his chair and led her out of the office.

Together they took the lift to the dining hall on the third floor, which was bustling with activity and Sirius bought them both shepherd's pie; it was her favorite comfort food, especially if Molly Weasley made it, but this version would have to suffice for the time being.

"Thank you," she told him and truly meant it as she dug into her warm meal. Despite her anxiety at being seen anywhere with Sirius, which she knew was ridiculous, she was thankful to get out of the office and into a different setting away from everything that plagued her.

"Are you going to tell me what is troubling you?"

"I'm sure you could guess," she looked up at him and he tried his best not to spend too much time unnecessarily staring into her honey colored eyes.

"Does he know?"

"No. But we got into a fight last night. It started with Teddy who came home from Harry's intent on calling me 'Mum' when he never had before, and _of course_ I want him to. But Remus said it was disrespectful to Tonk's memory. And when I tried to talk to him about it, he said he doesn't trust me because apparently I called out your name in my sleep…" Hermione blushed.

"I have a tendency to make women do that…" Sirius joked but his smile didn't reach the small crinkles near his eyes.

"What do I do?" Hermione asked and Sirius looked shocked. He didn't picture himself as very worthy of giving advice at the moment.

"Well, do you want to tell him about us? ….What we did?" Sirius added the second part to his thought when she glared at him.

"I can't. He's already so depressed about Tonks again. I can't hurt him like that," she sighed as she pushed around her leftover peas in the dish, her little quirk about eating that meal.

"And he'll stay depressed about Tonks. Maybe not consistently, but it will happen again and again. I'm not saying that I think confessing is the right option, but if you really want to save it, then you should apologize about the fight and try and move on," Sirius suggested half-heartedly and Hermione noted his distinct lack of enthusiasm about it.

"Of course I want to save it…" Hermione told him. She just didn't know if she could. "I think I might leave early today. Remus slept on the couch last night and didn't look like he planned on moving all day, so maybe I can catch him before he picks up Teddy and talk to him."

"I'll tell Arthur you went home not feeling well," Sirius nodded as they finished up their meal in relative silence. Sirius wanted to beg Hermione not to try that hard and Hermione wanted Sirius to tell her that wasn't a good idea, but neither would ever know that.

"I'll see you tomorrow…" Hermione told him, but stepped away awkwardly when he tried to hug her and hastily headed for a different lift to take her down to the floos, figuring the work left on her desk could stand to be left there overnight. Sirius wished her luck, jammed his hands in his pockets, and took his lift back up to the office.

**~o0o~**

"Remus?" Hermione called out, hopeful, when she stepped out of the floo and into their cozy home which suddenly felt less so. He wasn't on the couch still, which was rather unexpected, but he didn't seem to be anywhere else. She checked their bedroom and Teddy's, but the house was empty and it was too early for Teddy to be picked up. Eventually she found the note on the kitchen table.

_Harry and Ginny are picking Teddy up from school and letting him stay the night. I told them you would come get him in the morning. I'm staying at Andromeda's for the time being._

_-R_

Hermione ripped up the note in a rare display of anger, finding it unbelievable that he would push Teddy on their friends like that and run off when she had asked him to talk to her. They _needed_ to talk. And the fact that he didn't even sign his full name wasn't encouraging either. The only thing that she found hope in was Andromeda. The woman had more Black in her than she cared to admit, and Hermione knew she wouldn't suffer through Remus' whining or ignoring his son for very long. Andromeda liked Hermione, but above all doted on Teddy and son-in-law or not, Remus wouldn't find her house an escape for very long.

But she knew he would for tonight and she would have the house to herself. Taking off her work robes, Hermione decided that a hot bath was in order and went looking for some bath salts. She knew she had whipped up a jar a few months ago and started perusing the bathroom cabinet. But when she found the little jar of lavender salts and saw Remus' bottle of wolfsbane for next week on the shelf next to it, her mind started moving to a dark place. Now that she was alone, she wondered if she could find evidence that Remus was brewing contraceptive potion.

She had always trusted Remus and had never found a reason to go through his things. They shared mostly everything anyway and helped each other brew home remedies for colds and other ailments when Teddy needed them, both being rather adept at potion making. But now Hermione couldn't stop herself from checking if he had the ingredients. Most of the ones needed for a basic contraceptive were very common and as she rifled through where they kept their bottles for potion making, she found them: beetle eyes, lavender, and peacock feathers. But those weren't definitive. Her heart racing, she looked through the different tiny little bottles and finally found an unlabeled one, tucked in the back. She would have never found it if she wasn't actively looking for it. It was a small vial of bright orange Flitterby wings-the active ingredient in a contraceptive potion. Hermione replaced the bottle and waved her wand to sort the other bottles back into place before sitting on the floor by the closet. She tried to tell herself that maybe Remus needed that ingredient for something else, but her heart told her that Sirius had been right.

With a heavy heart, Hermione decided to go ahead with her bath, but relaxing didn't come easily. The longer she soaked in the tub, the angrier she felt. But on top of that, she felt completely and utterly alone.

Before her skin could get too wrinkly, Hermione stepped out of the bath and changed into some of her muggle denims and a grey t-shirt and patiently waited until just after five before stepping into the floo and clearly saying "Number 12, Grimmauld Place".

**A/N: Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Help

**A/N: I really appreciate all of your thoughtful reviews! They are so fun to read and it makes me happy that you all are invested in this story!**

**~o0o~**

"'Mione, why are you here?" Sirius had just stepped through his floo when he turned around and saw Hermione brushing off some soot from jeans. She didn't respond, just took a few steps towards him and pressed her lips desperately to his. Sirius' first instinct was to wrap his arms around her and kiss her back. Every night he wished for her back in his arms and it was almost painful to pull away from her.

"What are you doing?" He tried to distance himself, to sound angry, but the crestfallen look on her face begged him to kiss her again, but he held himself together well enough to wait for her answer.

"I want you Sirius," she whispered, filling the space between them again and assaulting his senses with the sweet smell of her shampoo and lavender on her skin. He pulled her closer once more but kept her in a hug against his chest, even though her hands were moving below his waist and making it hard for him to concentrate.

"_Stop! Fucking Merlin, Hermione, please!_"

He pushed her away, taking three massive strides backwards, "Hermione I know I said that I wouldn't ask any more from you. That it could just be sex. But I can't keep that promise anymore." His voice shook and Hermione could feel the pain she caused him. The last time she saw that kind of fear in his eyes was when he first stepped out of the Veil after being gone for so long. It was the fear of the unknown that was paralyzing to him.

"It's over between Remus and I. It's completely over," she started to cry, collapsing onto the chair behind her. She had been so resolved to go to Grimmauld and have him shag her until she couldn't remember what she had just found, but the moment the first tear streaked down her cheek, she knew things had progressed far beyond a simple, physical solution.

"What happened? I thought you said you wanted things to work between the two of you? Did you talk?" Sirius was right back over at her side in an instant, arms around her, comforting her. He couldn't keep away. Even though his heart felt twisted and squeezed inside of his chest, the pain he was feeling was secondary to what she needed.

"Sirius…I can't right now…I just…_you were right_…" she managed through her tears, trying to wipe them away as quickly as she could. She hated feeling vulnerable around him. She hated that her life was falling apart like this.

"Shh…it's alright, come on, love, up we go…" Sirius said gently as he lifted her into his arms as if she were nothing. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as he carried her up the squeaky stairs and to his bedroom, gently laying her down on the messy bed.

"Sorry…I wasn't expecting company," he apologized for the state of his bedroom and Hermione cracked a smile. It was a rare day that Sirius apologized for anything.

"This is not exactly how I intended this to go…" she said softly as she moved to find a pillow and she squished it to fluff it up as she tucked it under her head.

"I figured, but as much as I clearly want you," he gestured to the obvious bulge straining against his fitted trousers that had surprisingly stayed throughout his emotional torment, "I think it's best if we get things sorted out before you make any hasty decisions." He slipped off his shoes and sat down next to where she was lying on the bed. He took her hand in his and sadly fingered the simple ring on her left ring finger, "You are still a married woman, 'Mione. And I'm not sure I can go any further with this right now…"

"He doesn't love me," Hermione sniffed, "At least not anymore."

"One fight doesn't mean anything…" Sirius tried to console her, trying his best not to let his real feelings show on his face. He found it almost laughable how unconvincing he sounded.

"Then why would he want to stop me from getting pregnant with a baby of our own?" Her eyes found his in the semi-darkness of the room. He gently pushed some of her wild curls out of her face.

"That isn't something I can answer, love. That is something you need to hear from him."

"He's hiding out at Andromeda's. He didn't even stay and try and work things out, Sirius…" she gently pulled on his arm so that he would lie down next to her and he obliged with a heavy sigh. It was impossible for him to say not to her.

"What did you think coming here and trying to jump me was going to do?" he tried to lighten the mood, but her chocolate eyes only became more intense as they searched his.

"I just want to forget," she told him and he replied with a sad smile. He understood her, but he didn't want to be Hermione's way to escape reality. He wanted it to mean something. Initially he thought just having her would satisfy the physical need, but his feelings for her were far beyond that.

"I know you do. But I think maybe some sleep will help with that more than I can. Why don't you close your eyes for a bit and I'll try and put something together for dinner," he offered and she gave him a nod in return as he pulled away from her and stood up to walk down to the kitchen. Hermione drew the covers up over her, surrounding herself with his smell, and dozed off.

**~o0o~**

"You are a son to me Remus, but that does not give you the right to walk in here and not explain yourself," Andromeda Tonks stood at the doorway to the den where Remus was transfiguring the couch into something more suitable to sleep on. When she had answered the door, he breezed past her with a simple "I'm spending the night" and went to make himself at home. She was nearly as tall as Remus, the tallest of the Black sisters, and she drew herself up even taller as she strode toward him.

"Not now, Andromeda," Remus snapped and instantly regretted it. He just couldn't bear to look into her soft, wide eyes right now-they were the same as her daughter's.

"Is there a problem at home?"

"You could say that."

"And my grandson?"

"He's fine. He's with Harry and Ginny tonight. I suppose he'll be back with Hermione tomorrow," Remus answered, finally turning to his mother-in-law. The barely there age difference between them was a cold reminder that his late wife was taken well before her time.

"You _suppose_?" She kept up with her line of questioning, and he was starting to think he should have just booked a room at the Leaky for a few days.

"Yes, I suppose, Andromeda. I need a bit of time away right now. Can you try and understand that?" He slipped his coat off, "I'll figure things out as soon as I can."

"No, Remus. You'll figure things out tomorrow. I'll give you one night here and then you either start talking, or I'll send you on your way, understood? I'm not sure what is going on with you, but this isn't the Remus I know," her glare made him feel guilty and sick to his stomach, a skill only Molly Weasley had used on him to such a dramatic effect, "Goodnight."

"Night," Remus whispered, sitting down onto the elongated cushion of the couch and running his hand through his sandy hair. A wave of regret washed over him, but there was not much he could do now but see if the morning brought any clarity.

**~o0o~**

Hermione awoke to the light shining in through the windows of Sirius' bedroom and the sheets that she had still pulled close around her body still smelled slightly spicy, like he did, even if he was not in the room. Sirius had placed Hermione's things on the bedside table with care and she grabbed her wand and got out of bed, still in her clothes from the night before. She found Sirius on the couch, asleep, in the library, his face looking tired even in his slumber and his hair disheveled.

Once she realized the time, she knew picking Teddy up from Ginny and Harry's would need to happen soon, so she freshened her clothes with some charms and went to the kitchen to round up a bit of breakfast to say thank you to Sirius for the hospitality. The dinner he had made for him that she had apparently slept straight through was in the refrigerator and the gesture made her smile.

Hermione found what she needed for two bacon sandwiches and some coffee and brought them to Sirius, gently rubbing his shoulder to wake him and he groggily sat up, looking like he had a rough night.

"You didn't have to do this…" he motioned to the food but took a grateful bite of his sandwich anyway.

"I should do more. You've been kinder to me than I have any right to expect," she sighed, thinking of what a gentleman he had been. He had rejected her advances and helped her get a much needed night of rest without any regard for his own comfort, sleeping far away so she could have her space.

"You deserve the world, Hermione. Just don't tell anyone I said that. I have a reputation to keep up, you know…" he winked at her, a little life returning to his features and she briefly wondered what he had been up thinking about for most of the night.

"I need to go get Teddy…"

"You need to tell Harry and Ginny what is going on, 'Mione."

She knew he was right. But the thought of admitting that her seemingly perfect relationship was flawed possibly beyond repair was a hard pill to swallow where her pride was concerned, "And Teddy?"

"I'm sure he has already figured out some things, but try and keep him as distanced from all this as possible. I'm sure it is hard enough to know you two are fighting…" Sirius advised. She left her own sandwich relatively untouched and gave Sirius a kiss on the cheek before making her way to Harry and Ginny's.

**~o0o~**

"Is everything okay? Harry and I were worried and we tried to Floo call you, but you didn't seem to be home…" Ginny seemed more than just her average high-strung self when she answered the door to their lovely home in the suburbs outside of London, not very far from Remus and Hermione's home.

"I hope Teddy wasn't a bother. I know you both have enough on your plate with Albus and James," Hermione's tone was apologetic as Ginny ushered her inside and she heard Teddy's laugh coming from the next room.

"He was an angel, as usual. He's dressed and fed for school. I'm sorry, 'Mione but I have to get going to practice, but I hope we can talk about this soon?" Her look implied that a conversation was absolutely necessary and Hermione gave her friend a hug before the red-head disappeared.

"Harry?"

"In here, 'Mione…" Harry's voice called out to her from their living room and she found her best friend and Teddy sitting on the couch together as three-year-old Albus and two-year-old James played with some stuffed animals on the floor.

"Mum, where's dad?" Teddy asked; it was clear he was anxious. His hair was dark and messy, perfectly matching Harry's today.

"We'll talk about that in a little bit, Teddy, okay? Harry…is there any way I can talk to you alone?" Hermione tried to keep her voice calm, but Harry knew her well enough to know how much distress she was in.

"Sure. Teddy, do you think you can watch the boys for a bit? Call if you need anything, we'll just be in the next room."

Teddy looked chuffed at the sudden responsibility as Harry led Hermione into his kitchen and his worried look prompted her to blurt out all of her concerns while carefully avoiding any mention or involvement of Sirius.

"So, Remus has run out on you because he doesn't like you and Teddy being so close and he doesn't want another kid?" Harry was trying to wrap his brain around the highly uncharacteristic behavior of the man he always considered one of his greatest mentors.

"Harry…I think we might be headed for a divorce…he can't get over Tonks. It's like he is refusing to. He's running away from not only me, but Teddy as well and I just have to say that I am so, so sorry that he dropped Teddy off here and expected you to take him," Hermione wiped her tears with the back of her hand and Harry reached out to gently rub her forearm.

"Teddy is always welcome here. You know that. I'm on your side with this Hermione. I'll help you in any way that I can and I know Ginny would feel the same. This just came out of nowhere. I thought things were so good for you both."

"So did I. It just started a few weeks ago and he's completely unwilling to talk about it," Hermione said, feeling a twinge of guilt at the role she had played in possibly causing such a downward spiral, but pushed it away.

"Maybe he'll talk to me? Maybe I'll stop by Andromeda's after work and see if he's there," Harry tried to find anyway to make Hermione a little bit hopeful about the situation but she just waved him off, apologized again, and promised that she would get out of Harry's way and stop interrupting his morning with his precious children.

"I know you have always had a hard time asking for help, but I'm going to do what I can for you, no matter what you say," Harry promised, almost stubbornly, as he walked with Hermione to collect Teddy.

"And I love you for it, harry. Have a good day, alright?" she whispered sadly and held Teddy's hand, ready to take him to school.

**A/N: A little bit of a transitional chapter but hope you all liked it! Reviews welcome!**


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